Friday, 15 April 2005

Corporate Terminology

COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day

MUST BE FLEXIBLE: On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend

DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: We have no quality control

CAREER-MINDED: Female employees must be childless (and remain that way)

APPLY IN PERSON: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace the three people who just left

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it

feel free to add more to the list ;-)

14:20 Posted in Blog, Fun | Permalink | Comments (1)

Comments

Hilarious! This has probably been around the 'net a thousand times by now, but it was new to me and gave me a much needed laugh.

Posted by: Michael Sobczak | Friday, 29 April 2005

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